Picking up from the previous page, here is Part 2 of the guiding Principles that are essential to better living and to achieving Change.
Fear is like a Curtain.
I am not saying that Fear is a bad thing. Of course not. Fear has its uses too. For one thing, it keeps us safe.
So, most definitely, it is not safe, nor is it wise, to remove 'all' fear. However, it is also not right for us to be governed by it, either, because Fear has this nasty habit of reducing our lives to "miniatures" of what they could be.
And another thing is that when we are afraid, our worry (a thought) becomes highly energized (by the emotion of fear) and this is a very strong way of using our Imagination ... to destroy our happiness. What you worry about is likely to become real!
There is a big difference between Danger and Fear.
While Danger is a reality, Fear is often an illusion, i.e. we imagine what might go wrong 'as if' it actually is going wrong! We see the things that we fear (e.g. pain, lonliness, or consequences in general) much bigger than they would be in real life. Allow me to remind you of the wise words from bestselling author, Paulo Coelho, from his classic book The Alchemist.
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is
worse than the suffering itself. And no
heart has ever suffered when it goes in
search of its dream."
Very often, once you finally push through the feeling of fear, once you show courage and move forward in spite of your fear, the satisfaction and the rewards are so big that it might take you a couple of days to get over the amazement!
So, if the 'fear' situation is not life-threatening and if there is something that is holding you back from achieving your dream, or the life that you deserve, then push it aside as you would push a curtain and keep moving forward.
It's not "You versus the World"
Of course, you can always get help from me, but before that I offer you a word of caution. Ensure that the change that you seek will be ecological, that means that it would not disrupt your environment, or the 'larger-picture', if it is to make you truly happy. Remember that you do NOT live in isolation.
Back to the top.
The world is NOT against you. In fact, the "world" is often unaware that you even exist. But it sometimes feel like it's You against the World, doesn't it?
"Change Yourself, and you'll change the World."
We do complain from time to time about the behaviour of other people. Personally, I hate it when people are behaving in a way that bothers me and I really find it hard to accept their unruly or uncivilized behaviour.
But as we mentioned earlier, we attract 'more of the same' even when we go on thinking about what we don't want. Remember? "If only the other people would change!" If only the neighbours would learn to keep quiet, or your workmates would stop being such idiots, right? But here's the thing: "You cannot change anyone else! You can only change Yourself."
Of course, more on this will be found in the articles section, but for now it is sufficient to know this simple fact: "When you change yourself ... you will also have changed the way you see the World." Translation:
Before a Change can happen, a Change must happen
Back to the top.
The world's leading self-development gurus have often stated that for a Change to occur, that which is holding it (you) back must change first. Is this not a fair statement?
"Insanity is doing the same thing
Imagine a burglar alarm that keeps going off because there's a mouse in the building that keeps setting it off. You silence the alarm and ... it goes off again! I think this is clear enough.
Change cannot happen if something keeps blocking you. Remove it first.
This could be due to a number of things. Often, we may believe that whatever it is has nothing to do with us, but with other people. Remember, you have no control or real influence over others, or over the weather, or circumstances, maybe, but you do have control over yourself.
So let us close this by quoting the great Albert Einstein:
over and over again,
and expecting different results."
In other words, before a Change can happen ... another Change must happen. Einstein also said that you cannot solve a problem with the same mind (thinking) that caused it in the first place! Very often one or more beliefs must change before anything else can!
The Past is not the Future
Back to the top.
Deal with your own baggage (first)
Some people talk about Pain that they had suffered years before as if it had only happened a couple of weeks earlier. They carry this weight over many years, re-living the hurtful experience (without meaning to, maybe). What does carrying 'baggage' do? It tires us. Emotional baggage does the same thing. We actually get physical pain ... from emotional weight!
What happened in the Past has passed, but not if we keep bringing it to the front, and right into the Present. The past has its value, because there are Lessons to be learnt, but let me ask you to consider this:
When you've eaten a meal (especially one you didn't like), do you keep the bones that are left in your plate so you could take them with you everywhere? So then why not take the lessons from the past, and chuck the unwanted parts. Keep the happy memories, but store the rest away, out of sight.
Don't let the Past spoil your Present. Your present is all that you really have, because what you do today will have its consequences in the future, and you don't get another chance once you've wasted it. And another thing, STOP trying to predict the Future. Focus on making your present the best it can be, and your future will take care of itself.
Back to the top.
Here's the deal: You were not born to save everyone on the planet!
Before you can help anyone else, you need to get yourself on dry land. Save yourself first, IF you even need to save yourself, that is. In any case, look after your own needs first, then you can help the rest, if they ask you to.
Do you have stuff that needs sorting out? Then take care of that first, before anything else. Are you perhaps confusing 'self-love' with 'selfishness'?
If you are, then we need to get this straightened out first, because they are not only different, but quite the opposite. Selfishness is a 100% focus on yourself, like the world was created for you alone. That is a sad concept! Self-love ensures you are happy and strong, so you can love others even more, and help those in need. But you must start here. Deal with your own problems first. Other people's problems are not yours. Helping them does not turn their problems into your own, ever.
Again, I hope you have read and understood these concepts and that you are ready for the next step, that is to decide what Changes you want to make in Your Life. Remember that no one can make your changes for you, but with the right guidance and sufficient support, you can achieve more than you think you can. Changes happen all the time, other people are achieving the results they want, so what's holding you back? It usually is something below the surface, but we can expose it and then you can activate the leader in you to make the Change real.
Remember to email me — "steve @ betterliferightnow.com" — (no spaces) and to subscribe for article updates, without any obligation whatsoever.
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